forgetfulness and gratefulness

there comes a time when all you really do is forget how to be grateful.

well, now i have come to repay my debt. the debt to all of you who i should have been very grateful for.

first of all, i am grateful to Allah, for if not for Allah then i wouldn't have been here. if not for Allah, my parents would have never met and i would never have existed. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, for all the wonderful things you've granted us, and forgive us for taking you for granted. thank you for giving me health and still giving me the chance to live my life. thank you for the love that is surrounding me, thank you for everything.

i am grateful to my mum and dad who have worked so hard for years just to ensure that we still have food on the table for today and the next day and the next. i'm grateful for still having you around, to see your face everyday and to hear your voice just for another day. i'm grateful because you have provided your daughters a very nice home and educated us in every possible way that you can possibly imagine. i'm grateful for all your advices and i'm grateful for having you in my life. i'm honestly deeply sorry for all the things i've done. i regret for not listening to you, for always, with no failure, forgetting what you have just warned and gave your two thoughts about anything that i was doing. i'm sorry. i've learned my lesson thoroughly and i wish i could have just listened a bit sooner. i don't want to change what i've done though, because how else could i have learned about anything if i hadn't experienced it for myself, am i right?

i too, am grateful for the people around me who has been supporting me all the time, through rain or shine, cold or hot, while not talking bad about me behind my back. i'm thankful because no matter how hard it is to express it out, how disturbing of what it is that you are going to say, you say it right in front of my face, and taking your chances of the consequences that i will probably blow you off or straight blindly shout at you. but i've always listened, because i'd rather that than being talked behind my back. thank you.

i'm grateful for earth, for all the roses by the sidewalk, all birds chirping, everything. i'm grateful for feelings, because i would rather feel than feel nothing at all. i would rather fell off my bike and feel pain rather than be an emotionless person because i realized i've been shutting myself from the world, from myself.

i'm very grateful that i've come to this realization that i am very forgetful to be grateful. because if i hadn't, then this post wouldn't have existed, now would it? (;