Well this is awkward.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم 

Wow, everything feels really different. I don't remember the last time I had been on here, and now that I am, and having re-read all of my past posts, I've come to realize that I was really so self-critical. I had lost faith in my talent and ability to write, no matter how surface level my writing style had been. I wasn't confident I would be able to write as beautifully as my friends had been at the time and that was just the problem, wasn't it? I had begun comparing my self-worth to everyone else around me, when I should instead, be focusing on my own progress and growth.

Well, here I am. 10 years later. 

Can't believe how much I've been through, how much I've missed sharing. Some part of me wants to blame myself that if I hadn't stopped writing, if I had continued with my self-reflections and journaling, albeit so publicly, I probably wouldn't have done what I had done. And that, my love, is called damaging myself with my own poison. Let's turn that around together, now.

I am talented. I am worthy of love and kindness. I am worthy of good. I am deserving of positivity. I am who I am because of the choices I've made, good or bad, and that has made me this strong woman today.

I know, I know. I know.

I honestly rolled my eyes at myself for that, but hey, I am really trying hard to un-learn and re-learn a lot of things. Trying to walk the talk is really hard but if I don't start being kinder to myself, no one else will. That much, based on past experiences, is really a gem I take for granted when I was younger. What ifs really are the devils tool. They set you up into this conversation with yourself, making you feel inferior and unworthy, even for the forgiveness of our Creator. I'm glad for the past year I've been learning so much more about our Ar-Rahim and slowly beginning to love more and more each day. In return, learning to love myself bit by bit as well.

Anyways, thought I would pop in a cheeky little post, as a reminder of how my heart will always burn something fierce for writing. Until the next one, take care and have a lovely week ahead! xo, Sarah.